Remember, Revisit, Relive By Dina Emser

You’ve probably experienced the feeling many times. I’ve been here before, right here, living this very moment. It seems faintly familiar and I can’t quite bring the circumstances to mind. It feels like a gauzy shadow is laying over my memory. Even when I really try, I can’t bring the moment into sharp focus, but I feel like I’ve been here before.

Déjà vu. Is it true or only imagined—that momentary familiar feeling of a past occurrence that taps anxiously on memory’s door? You may recognize yourself searching the many drawers and cabinets of your memory’s closet seeking the connection. Is it even about the past or perhaps some strange ability of the brain to pre-imagine this set of circumstances occurring in the future, thus making it feel as though it already happened?

Reliving meaningful experiences can bring us comfort. People are pattern makers, so it makes sense that we repeat things over and over again because we like the feelings they invoke. We revisit places, persons, and things to put us in a certain frame of mind, or maybe to bring resolution to a past conflict.

When we have a good experience at a restaurant or a vacation destination, we want to go back. Experiencing things again can give us a new appreciation and create a nostalgic connection. A young man brings his girlfriend back to a place filled with romantic significance as the stage for his proposal. A couple plans their second honeymoon at the place of the original getaway, hoping to rekindle the feelings of ardent love and connection they felt years ago. Often the idealized experience we are seeking to replicate doesn’t feel the same as we remembered and yet, for better or worse, we remain loyal, familiarity and hope compelling us to return.

The experience of déjà vu is all about awareness. You’ve probably read a word you’ve never seen before and then suddenly noticed that same word showing up the very next day. Or you’ve seen a new style of car on the road and then see it again everywhere you look. According to Maturana and Varela, whose work in brain cognition is sited in A Simpler Way (Wheatley and Kellner-Rogers, 1999), our eyes are not the only source of information relayed to the brain. What we see through our eyes only accounts for 20 percent of what we use to create perception. The other 80 percent comes from information that is already in the brain. “We each create our own worlds by what we choose to notice, creating a world of distinctions that makes sense to us,” say Maturana and Varela.

Remembering and revisiting times past so we can relive those shiny moments of significance in our lives can be a tempting and enjoyable pass time. Perhaps a balance point is to stay fully present in our lives right now so that we have lots of material in mind to continue to build memories and experience the mysterious déjà vu.

Remember, revisit, and relive. What is there in your life that deserves a second look?

Dina Emser

~Dina is a Professional Development Coach who helps people act on that is important to them. For more information about how she works with individuals and groups, and to sign up for her monthly ezine, Work in Progress, go to www.dinaemser.com.