Fun Friday: Darksiders!

Let me start by saying that I enjoyed Darksiders. Really, I did. It was sort of a cross between Zelda and God of War, which sounds awesome. And it kind of was. But it was almost too awesome for its own good. Because it wasn't as good as either game it was imitating, but it was good enough that I wanted it to be. So basically, I'm going to tear it apart.

In Darksiders, you are the fallen Horseman of War. Yea, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. When you mistakenly react to a staged apocalypse, your masters get angry with you and send you down to Earth to fix your mistake and punish the ones responsible. Mark Hammil goes with you to make sure you obey orders, and then you gotta go around cutting up demons and finding legendary items and hearts and stuff.

The first problem I encountered was the combat system. As much as they tried to make it a God of War, Devil May Cry-esque high-octane fighter, it just didn't have the combos for it. There's one attack button and you pretty much just press it over and over again. You also get an air combo; but since there are like 4 aerial enemies in the game, it doesn't see a lot of practice.

The second problem with Darksiders was how much it was like Zelda. I mean, I appreciate that Zelda has pretty much cornered the franchise on dungeon-exploration platformers, but it was really really really similar. You get a Crossblade that can attack multiple targets that you throw and it comes back (a boomerang). You get a hook on a chain that you can use to pull yourself to higher areas (a hookshot). You explore the world on your horse and find quarter pieces of Lifestones that, when you get four, give you a new bar of life (Heart Pieces). Basically, it just made me want to play Ocarina of Time.

But the biggest problem with Darksiders, by far, was the voice acting on War. The story actually gets interesting, there's stirring music, angels are flying into vain battle against the Destroyer in slow motion, and then War speaks and I fall asleep. He betrays no emotion whatsoever. Even when you're super-angry and beating a monster's face in while you yell about it, War sounds like he's just having casual conversation in a monastery. When I think that Mark Hammil voiced the Watcher, and had to be in the same room as this guy... Well, as much as they imitated Zelda I wish they had just gone with a silent protagonist.

But it was a fun game and, by and large, that strikes me as the point. I enjoyed it and even though I traded it in as soon as I beat it, I'd still say play it if you have nothing else today. You're better off playing God of War III, but that's on PS3 and I'm poor, so that's just not happening. Overall I give it a B. Better than some, but not as good as it was trying to be.